“When anybody asks, 'What are you writing about now?' if I try to reply, the book-in-the-works sounds so idiotic to me that I think, 'Why am I trying to write that puerile junk?' So now I give up; if I could talk about it, I wouldn't have to write it."
- Madeleine L'Engle, A Circle of Quiet


A Place to Rest

Monday, July 25, 2005

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I've never really felt at home in our current house. We purchased with the intention of fixing it up and updating it in order to sell it for a profit later. That is precisely what we've done. We are now on the search for a buyer for what has become a lovely little house that someone will be able to call home.

Things have been said about home such as "Home is where the heart is," and that is certainly true. I do feel that my home is wherever my husband is. I'd rather be in a little old house in the hood with him than a nice new house in the country without him any day. In that way, this house has been home, because it's been a temporary resting place for the two of us together. But the operating word there is temporary.

Growing up, I never lived anyplace more than 5 years, and by the time I graduated high-school I had lived in 12 different houses. In our 12 years of marriage, we've lived in 3 different places. I'm so tired of
temporary. I'm ready for permanent.

Maybe rather than saying that I've never felt "at home" in this house, I should say that I've never felt settled. I've never felt like I could really sink back and rest. No matter how much I update and decorate, no matter how cute it is or how many flowers I stencil in the kitchen, there has always been that nagging thought underlying it all. "This is only temporary. Don't get too comfortable here because you're really only doing this so someone else can enjoy the place."

The home we are building is going to be permanent. We plan to grow old in this home. I know, "The best laid plans of mice and men...", but I finally feel like there is rest on the horizon. I can see it and I'm running toward it as fast as I can make my feet go. There are obstacles, but I'm still moving forward. They may slow me down, but by the grace of God, they will not stop me.

In the midst of these thoughts, I happened across a blog by a young mother named Shannon. She wrote a recent post about making your house a home. In it, she challenged her readers to make a list of 10 words or phrases that make you feel at home. (I'd love to see your lists! Feel free to comment with your list or a link to your list on your blog.) In light of our current situation, I thought this would be a fitting time to make my own list - in no particular order.

1) sunlight pouring through the windows and saturating the house
2) comfortable, cushy reading nooks (books included, of course)
3) the smell of fresh, clean, outdoor air
4) tall, old, gnarly trees
5) soft fabrics
6) kitties curled up nearby or in my lap
7) the sound of rain falling on the rooftop
8) the yummy scent of fresh-baked goodies
9) cuddling and/or conversing with my sweet Geek
10) a beautiful view of God's creation outside my window

Looking back over this list, every one of these things will be incorporated into our new home. It seems too good to be true. I'm almost afraid to believe it because it might get snatched away from me, but we own the land now and we are moving forward with the steps necessary to start building. By the end of this year, we will live in our home - the home we built together and will live in together for the rest of our lives. I can already feel myself beginning to rest.


At 7/26/2005 1:23 AM, Blogger Blond Girl wrote:


believe it, it's finally yours.

and you deserve it, child of God.

At 7/26/2005 8:41 AM, Anonymous Janet wrote:

I think when you've known nothing but moving frequently, it becomes hard to actually put down roots, whether you want to or not, cause it's all you've known.

I wish you much happiness in the home you and your husband are building and hope that you find peace, contentment and joy there!

My list of 10 things that make me feel at home:

~ happy dogs
~ snoozing cats
~ open windows with a fresh breeze lightly blowing
~ the smell of mowed lawn
~ snow blanketing the yard
~ rustling leaves in a storm
~ a reading nook, preferably a window seat
~ the smells of cooking
~ laughter
~ a small garden filled with herbs, tomatoes and jalapenos (I'm a salsa freak!)

Oh, and Hi! Michele sent me!

At 7/26/2005 11:51 AM, Blogger Kristi wrote:

Congrats on being able to put down roots somewhere permanent. I love the question you posed. Here are my answers:

1. My cats cuddling around me.
2. Light rain falling outside (I used to like thunderstorms, until a fierce one flooded my basement two weeks ago!)
3. Snow falling in the winter, on a day I don't have to leave my house.
4. The smell of bread or scones baking in the oven.
5. The silence that accompanies a turned-off tv.
6. Sitting in my overstuffed chair-and-a-half and reading.
7. The feeling of climbing into a bed with new sheets on it.
8. The first flowers of spring sprouting through the snow.
9. Leaves blowing accross my lawn in the fall.
10. Sitting on my back porch and listening to the wind through the trees.

At 7/26/2005 1:00 PM, Blogger Geekwif wrote:

Thanks for adding your lists Kristi and Janet. All this talk of homey things makes me want to snuggle up under a nice cozy blanket. :)

At 7/28/2005 9:37 AM, Anonymous Lily Bleu wrote:

I LOVE your topic for a list and am totally going to put something together for my own blog along the same lines! :)

Michele sent me, and I am happy that I took the time!

Lily B.

At 8/02/2005 9:51 AM, Blogger Meredith wrote:

I found your blog through Shannon. Enjoying your thoughts!

From another transient house lover,


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