“When anybody asks, 'What are you writing about now?' if I try to reply, the book-in-the-works sounds so idiotic to me that I think, 'Why am I trying to write that puerile junk?' So now I give up; if I could talk about it, I wouldn't have to write it."
- Madeleine L'Engle, A Circle of Quiet


Crusader of the Chocolateless World

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Since I haven't been blogging much lately, I thought I would attempt to satisfy your all-consuming craving for the words of the Geekwif by posting part of a conversation Blond Girl and I had this morning by Instant Message. I won't guarantee it won't bore you, but it made me laugh and because of it, I now proudly sport a new title.

Note: The following conversation has been edited for content and brevity.
Also note: All names have been altered to protect the anonimity of the, and the not-so innocent.

Blond Girl: I am making my wonderful choc chip pancakes. I was wondering if you want a few plain ones?

: Oooh. Lovely. The house will be full of chocolate aroma! (Please note the sarcasm in this statement. For those of you who don't understand why, please see #97 in my 100 Things.)

: Oh, they're just little chips! You can handle that! Can't you?

: I know. I just had to give you a hard time.

: Like I said to Curly Girl this morning, how a girl who hates chocolate became my best friend is beyond me!

: Plain ones actually sound pretty good. I could probably go for a couple.

: Cool. I'll make you some plain ones then,

Yeah. I actually have to wonder how I got to be any woman's friend ever since very few are anything less than complete chocolate addicts.

BG: You know, you're right. I think chocolate and estrogen are pretty closely connected in most women.

GW: I love the fact that Kristi (Interrupted Wanderlust) hates chocolate too. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one out there.

BG: Well, my mom's best friend HATES chocolate as well. So no, you're not the only one. Just one of a small yet highly vocal minority.

GW: Well, you know. We few have to defend our mighty cause.

BG: Yes, you go, you knight of the chocolateless world!
BG: Or would that be princess?
BG: Women aren't knights
BG: Perhaps crusader, like Joan of arc..
BG: Ok, I'm being silly now.

So there you have it.

Crusader of the Chocolateless World

I boldly proclaimed my new title to the Geek and he just about choked. Not in laughter as I would have anticipated, but in horror of the word
chocolateless. He instantly proclaimed it an abominable word because it sounds so awful - not because of its meaning. Yes, he is an amateur linguist.

He promised to devote 2 of his brain cells to finding a better word to replace it so that I could keep my newly beloved title, but when I asked him about it later he said he had already reassigned those two brain cells to another task. Hummphh.

So now I am appealing to you, my devoted and cherished readers. If any of you has any suggestion for a word to replace chocolateless, I'd love to hear it. I've thought of a couple but nothing that has thrilled me yet. Anyone?


At 10/23/2005 6:59 PM, Blogger Kristi wrote:

LOL. I LOVED this post, because, well, as you well know, I am a fellow chocolate hater..and we're a rare bunch! And I like the word, so I won't offer any alternatives. Today I went out for breakfast and had banana pankcakes. I skipped right over the chocolate chip offering. The banana pancakes were delicious! And I would be happy to join your crusade.

At 10/23/2005 9:51 PM, Blogger Geekwif wrote:

Mmmm. Banana Pancakes....

Thanks for joining my crusade, Kristi! I can use all the help I can get! :)

At 10/23/2005 11:12 PM, Blogger Champs wrote:

I got a couple suggestions:




LOL! You know I am just kidding. I don't understand how you could not like chocolate. Thee are so many varieties. Of course, you could say the same about coffee and I detest that. So, to sum up..we are both insane!

At 10/23/2005 11:22 PM, Blogger Blond Girl wrote:

I'm with you, Kristi. Love the banana pancakes. Of course, for me, Chocolate Chip Banana pancakes are the best of all possible worlds... with Strawberry syrup on top! What can I say? I love excess.

I later suggested the french version to Geekwif: Sans Chocolate' (you must imagine this in a french accent; "San Shock-o-lay") but that was deemed worse, so I am out of ideas.

Of course, Champs can now consider himself the "Crusader of the Javaless World" - and he is. Trust me, I know... I live with him and get to hear the "I hate coffee!" speech very regularly.

At 10/24/2005 12:06 AM, Blogger milchfrommler wrote:

Hi Michele sent me!
Pity you don't like chocolate... we all can't be perfect.
Great blog!

At 10/24/2005 11:34 PM, Blogger jennypenny wrote:

let me be the first to congratulate you on being the site of the day at micheles (who sent me of course) now i understand somewhat your crusade as i am a passionate hater of many foods myslef. however, i think your efforts are misplaced. how bout ridding the world of evil like mushrooms, all seafood or mustard? and leaving poor yummy chocolate alone. btw loved your site and am glad i stopped by

At 10/24/2005 11:49 PM, Blogger Begered wrote:

Hello, Michele sent me! Wow, I think you are the first person that I have heard that HATES chocolate. I find this very interesting. If I think of a word to substitute chocolateless, I will let you know. I personally like the word :)

At 10/25/2005 12:12 AM, Blogger Isabella wrote:

Umm, chocolate-free?

At 10/25/2005 12:15 AM, Anonymous mar wrote:

I prefer the bitter one, but I can go without chocolate. That doesn't make me a chocolate hater but I can understand your point. I can only come up with "chocless", chockless?-- Michele sent me to visit the site of the day! Have a good one.

At 10/25/2005 1:47 AM, Blogger Me wrote:

Mar, I think "chocless" reminds me of "moclate" from that episode on Friends when Monica had to create recipes with that nasty not-chocolate. But if people are speaking the word "chocless" they might think the geekwif is Crusader of a CHALKless world.

I liked "sans-chocolat."

Geefwif, you and BG always make me laugh. I'm so glad you two have the friendship you do! And have you tried peanut butter chip pancakes instead of chocolate chip ones? Pretty tasty!

Came via Michele today.

At 10/25/2005 5:39 AM, Blogger Marie wrote:

Hi Geekwif! Michele sent me...

There are days when I WISH I didn't love chocolate! I'd probably peel off several pounds if I stopped eating it.

Funny post. Pancakes are one of my favorite foods... with or without chocolate chips. Mmmm pancakes!

Happy day!

At 10/25/2005 5:52 AM, Blogger Star wrote:

I am totally unable to conceive of a chocolateless world, so synonyms are out of the question. Michele sent me by today. Is the absence of chocolate vanilla?

At 10/25/2005 6:24 AM, Blogger Shannon wrote:


have a good non-chocolate day!

At 10/25/2005 6:35 AM, Blogger dena wrote:

Void of chocolate,

Gosh, I don't know. I'm in the middle on this one. I like it, but don't love it. I can it eat or pass on it.

hello, michele sent me.

At 10/25/2005 7:52 AM, Blogger Erin wrote:

Ohhh, so you DON'T like chocolate! LOL! I've met a few of your rare breed.

Let me pose this question: What do you eat for dessert if you don't eat chocolate??

Have a good day! (Michele sent me, but this is my second comment, so I figured you'd know that!)

At 10/25/2005 9:07 AM, Blogger Sandy wrote:

First, the formalities - I've read your comments over at BG's blog and feel I at least know a bit about you as much as one can via online comments to a blog, but today -- Hello, Michelle sent me.

Next - Gosh, no chocolate huh? Oh man. Guess you'd not be interested in the peanut butter chococlate chip pancakes my son conned me into making, huh? ;)

As for a new title? Hmm, gosh I struggle. Chocolate and I - we're in lust. It is so hard to wrap my brain around something anti-cocoa.

At 10/25/2005 9:11 AM, Blogger Carl V. wrote:

Hello from Michele and congrats! A woman who hates chocolate?!?!? I thought for sure the birth of such a woman would've brought about the apocalypse! I'm afraid I can't back you in your quest for ridding the world of chocolate. Dark chocolate is one of the seven wonders of the world as far as I'm concerned. The idea of choc. chip pancakes, however, makes me want to vomit up my cornflakes!

At 10/25/2005 10:04 AM, Blogger Janet wrote:

hmmm...if the world were chocolateless, there would be two less Johnny Depp movies (Chocolat & Willy Wonka) and we CAN'T have that! We need all the Depp we can view! Hi, Michele sent me :)

At 10/25/2005 1:40 PM, Blogger coolbeans wrote:

Hello, Michele sent me.

I have no suggestion for a different word, but I can tell you I would gladly be friends with someone who doesn't like chocolate. It's just that much MORE FOR ME!

At 10/25/2005 3:21 PM, Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry wrote:

hey, michelle sent me and congrats on being site of the day! i don't think i want to live in a world without chocolate.

At 10/25/2005 6:13 PM, Blogger Barbara wrote:

I'm going to put two brain cells on that chocolateless issue.

At 10/25/2005 6:54 PM, Blogger OldLady Of The Hills wrote:

I'm shocked! Michele sent me but under false pretenses..I thought the 'chocolate question' was going to be something like..."Name the best dark chocolate you've ever eaten"..or...."Can you overdose on chocolate?"....or...."Where do you hide your chocolates from the rest of your family?"....was I ever wrong!

At 10/26/2005 9:24 PM, Blogger Geekwif wrote:

Oh my goodness! I just left a huge long comment answering to each and every one of you and it disappeared! Aaahh! I don't have the energy to try again since I'm quickly falling into a Nyquil-induced coma. I'll try again tomorrow.

At 10/27/2005 9:01 AM, Blogger Geekwif wrote:

I've slept off my Nyquil coma and I'm taking the day off in subjection to the germ warriors that have overtaken my head and lungs. So, I've got a little time on my least until I decide to put those miniscule hooligans in their place with another dose of shiny happy drugs. I'm ready for the moment to try these comments again.

Champs - {rolling my eyes dramatically} Ha, very funny. I'm not a fan of coffee either - not drinking it anyway. I do love the smell of a freshly opened bag of coffee beans though. How they can taste so different from the way they smell is beyond me.

BG - "...Chocolate Chip Banana pancakes are the best of all possible worlds... with Strawberry syrup on top!..." That is just the nastiest thing I've ever heard!

BG and Sojourning - "Sans Chocolat" sounds nice, but unfortunately it doesn't solve the problem. See, the whole reason this all started is because I was trying to appease the Geek in all his geekiness who couldn't stand the word "chocolateless". As BG pointed out, the word would absolutely require itself to be spoken in a French accent which would only further disgust the Geek since he has a blatant hatred for all things French. (My apologies to anyone French out there.) So while it's a nice idea, the search for a new word must continue.

Milchfrommler, Begered, Shannon, Better Safe Than Sorry, Barbara - Thanks for visiting! I will attempt to visit you all sometime soon, but it may take a few days.

Jennypenny - Well, I simply couldn't live without mushrooms, though I wouldn't miss seafood much. And as for mustard, you can take the cheap yellow stuff away - I don't care - but leave the nice brown mustard like Grey Poupon. Oh and don't take my sassy spicy clear your sinuses mustard either. That and a little sweet and sour sauce on a cream cheese wonton? Yummy! How about we make a pact? I'll give you my chocolate if you'll give me your mushrooms and mustard!

Isabella, Mar - Thanks for the suggestions. I will take them into consideration!

Sojourning - I remember that episode! I wanted to try least I would if it actually existed. I figured that if chocolate lovers hated it then maybe a chocolate hater would love it! I see what you mean about chocless. If people thought I was crusading against chalk it could have disatrous results! I mean, how would all the little girls in pigtails play hopscotch without chalk? ;)

Marie - Oh I wish it worked that way for me. If only I could shed pounds by not eating chocolate - that would be my ideal weight loss plan!

Star - Ha! My hubby says the same thing. He seems to think that vanilla is the anti-flavor or that it's just a blank canvas for his chocolate syrup paint. I'll never understand that line of thinking.

Dena - That's funny. It's not often I run into people who are ambiguous about chocolate. It seems like most either love it or hate it. Let me rephrase that - It seems like most love it and a few hate it and perhaps even fewer can love it or leave it.

Erin - Fooled ya, huh? ;) What do I eat for dessert? Oh there are so very many possiblities. Tiramisu (with no cocoa of course) and creme brulee top the list as my all time favorites. Pie is good - apple, banana cream - yum. And then there's ice cream - Breyer's Natural Vanilla, Ben and Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio, Haagen Dazs Black Walnut. (Haagen Dazs also makes a Creme Brulee ice cream that is absolutely to die for but I can't find it in the store anymore which causes me extreme disappointment.) So, as you can see, I am not lacking for yummy dessert options.

Sandy - Thanks for visiting me at my own blog home today! You know, you might just be on to something with that "anti-cocoa" thing! Or maybe "cocoaless"? I'll add it to my list. :)

Carl V. - Yes, as Erin said, we are a rare breed, but we the "small yet highly vocal minority" (according to Blond Girl) will raise our flag high and defend our mighty cause with all the strength that is in us!

Janet - There is certainly no arguing that point! I haven't actually seen either of those movies yet, but after a couple of the comments I've gotten here, I might have to see Chocolat. I already plan to see the new Willy Wonka. I loved the first one.

Coolbeans - The Geek (my hubby) feels the same way! He is glad to be the recipient of any chocolate rejects I might give him, and on the rare occasion when I self-sacrificially bake some chocolate chip cookies, he gets them all without having to share!

Oldlady of the Hills - I knew you were in for a surprise when I read your previous comment! That Michele, she is a sneaky one!

At 11/04/2005 7:29 PM, Anonymous Leanne wrote:

Better late than never, eh? I also am a fellow chocolate-very-much-disliker.

Chocolateless is a PERFECT word. Devoidolate. Chocovoilated. Any word that means chocolate is banished forever is GREAT. Chocolate Banishe'? haha that sounds French!

Okay anyway I've been stalking you and just had to speak up about SOMETHING. So there. I've done it. ;)


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