“When anybody asks, 'What are you writing about now?' if I try to reply, the book-in-the-works sounds so idiotic to me that I think, 'Why am I trying to write that puerile junk?' So now I give up; if I could talk about it, I wouldn't have to write it."
- Madeleine L'Engle, A Circle of Quiet


And The Winner Is...

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The votes are cast.

The polls have closed.

The ballots have been counted.

And the results are....

Actually, before I go there, I would like to address a very valid point about which Sojourning and HolyMama inquired. Every girl knows that in this world, whether bowling or not, there is truly nothing more important than shoes. Every outfit must be complemented by the perfect pair of shoes when at all possible.

As I was adorning my feet with the standard issue shoes provided by the bowling alley management the other day, I was wondering about this. What about the women (and some men I suppose, though it has been my observation that most [notice I do not say all] men I know are not aware enough of their shoes to care about such things as I am about to discuss) who bowl on a regular basis? What about league bowlers and even professional bowlers? Do they have to wear the standard issue shoes too?

If I were a pro-bowler, I would want the perfect pair of shoes to complement every outfit. I would refuse to be part of any league that made me wear one of those uniforms that looks like one of my grandmother's housecoats or a nurse's uniform jacket with a cheesy logo splashed across the back and a horrible pun-inspired name like...well I just can't bring myself to type them, but you can see some examples here. I think every womens' bowling league should allow it's members to be fashionable as they bowl, and they should be able to wear their own shoes, even if they must have those wierd hard wooden or cardboard (or whatever they are made of) soles.

As for the questions posed by Sojourning and HolyMama, the shoes were not cute. They were half red and half blue with white laces (very similar to the shoes in the picture above). They were very stiff and I chose to keep my nose as far from them as possible in fear that I would not be able to force myself to don them otherwise.

It's funny how every pair of bowling shoes makes your feet look huge. I have size 8 feet - not small, but certainly not gargantuan - yet somehow the shoes magically transformed my feet into clown feet. Being ignorant of magic like I am, I could not begin to explain this phenomenon.

So, now that you have my in depth opinion of bowling shoes (This blog is beginning to be a bit like Seinfeld, isn't it? I can blog on and on about nothing!) let's get on to what you all really came for.

The Results of the Bowling Score Contest!!!

Sojourning, I commend you for your valiant efforts. 382 is quite an extravagant score, one that is far beyond the realm of possibility, but that's quite alright. As I've probably mentioned before, excessive flattery will get you far with the Geekwif.

Yellojkt, thank you. I truly wish I could achieve such a score as 150. Perhaps when I have a little more experience bowling I will be able to do so. In fact, let's make it official. My new goal is to be able to bowl 150 someday.

Blond Girl, 107 is a right lovely reasonable score, and yet I did not obtain it. I'm sure I'll hit that on my way to my new goal of 150...someday...maybe.

Kristi, your guess of 100 was in the running for the closest for a while - until...well we'll get there. Congrats on almost winning!

HolyMama, you made two guesses - 400 if a high score was good, and 88 if low. The Geek informs me that there is no such thing as a score of 400 (the highest possible is 300), but I am truly touched by your generosity. Your guess of 88 is in a way the winning guess, but the problem is that you guessed that to be a good low score (like in golf) and unfortunately for me, that's not how bowling is scored. If the goal was to see who could hit the least pins possible, I would win for sure!

That leaves just one - the guesser extraordinaire! At the risk of being accused of nepotism, the winner is...

(drum roll please)

Hot Rod Mama!!!

You guessed 94, which was the closest guess to my pitiful little score. I suppose it was a bit of a fluke, since you simply guessed based on Grandma's age - kind of like those people who win the lottery using their children's birth dates - but, nonetheless, your's was the closest guess!

For those whose curiosity is getting the best of you right now, I suppose I should post my pitiful, diminutive score which was the mark you were all striving to hit. My bowling score last Sunday - the highest score I've ever gotten in my grand bowling history (all four times I've played) is...


Like I said, pitiful.

Now, on to the truly important part - the prize. HRM asked for a truly lofty prize indeed. In her words, " about posting your NaNoWriMo novel - yes, in it's entirety - on your Blogspot?"

Now, I would love to do this for you, but in my words, "I reserve the right to refuse and make you pick a different prize if I find it unreasonable, illegal, immoral, distasteful, or simply impossible." It may be unreasonable; it's certainly not illegal, immoral or distasteful; so I'm going with simply impossible. However, I will make a compromise. I will post some exerpts from it here on my blog for your reading pleasure. How's that? It may take me a few days - eh, better make it a week - but I will honor my promise and your request.

Well, that concludes our show for today. I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget, I'm here all week. Oh, and don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.


At 1/29/2006 4:16 PM, Blogger Jeana wrote:

It could be worse. I got my best bowling score ever on a ski slope.

(How do you leave a pretty link within a comment box? Probably it requires one of those programs with a name that sounds like a video game or comic book hero.)

At 1/29/2006 7:44 PM, Anonymous Hot Rod Mama wrote:

Thank you. And I accept your compromise but really would like to read all of it sometime - as it involves my Mom.
Actually, as far as the score goes, I was originally going to guess 68 as I think that was my highest score in the good old days of bowling with my sister and her "King of the Lanes" husband. (An honor I believe he achieved numerous times. Even comes with a trophy.) Once I threw the ball. . . well, you'll have to guess that one. One of my most embarassing moments. And there ain't no way possible you could get a strike throwing it that-a-way. LOL Of course, the King was looking on. Oh, horror of horrors! But that was at least a hundred years (maybe 94) ago.
I'm proud of you none-the-less. I knew you could out-bowl me.
But you'll never beat me at Jezz-ball, I'm afraid. I stand at 900430 in the Jess-ball Hall of Fame.

At 1/29/2006 10:04 PM, Anonymous HolyMama! wrote:

I realize now that my guess might have been a tad insulting, although obviously 100% unintentionally so. Um, oops. Can't wait for the promised excerpts! (Now I must go google Jezz-ball. Whaa?)

At 1/30/2006 4:28 PM, Blogger yellojkt wrote:

If you had bowled two games, I would have won. Drats. I was really looking forward to getting that picture of you wearing the clown costume.

At 1/30/2006 8:35 PM, Anonymous HolyMama! wrote:

Hey Geekwif,
I couldn't figure out if there was a way to email you directly, but I have in MY email inbox a 'take 25% of the already reduced sale prices' email from j jill. I'm already past my j jill quota for the month, i think. anyway, let me know if you want it - it's good for 2 more days only. -Kelsey (you know, my real name i seldom ever use)


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